Tales from Kendermore
by Thought Monger
Summary: Two kender, playing at being wizards, accidentally stumble upon two powerful artefacts belonging to Raistlin Majere, who will stop at nothing to get them back. Read of the mishap adventure of these to would-be wizards to find out what chaos ensues.


Two kender bobbed happily down the road leading from Solace to Qualinost. They had no particular inclination to follow this road, it simply seemed better than the alternative of spending a day in Solace hiding from an angry wizard. The two were particularly small, even by kender standards. They were identical in almost every feature, brown hair tied up in topknots, pouches bouncing with their buoyant strides, blue-eyes, and brightly coloured leggings. The only distinguishing feature between the two were the brightly coloured tunics they wore, one dressed in a sickeningly bright green, the other in intense blue colour.  
  
"Wizards can be so irrational. I didn't steal his spell book, he just dropped it, and I was keeping it for him until I saw him again." The one in the blue was explaining to the other.  
  
"Wizards are so short tempered," the other agreed "if I could use magic I wouldn't spend my life sitting alone and reading through dusty old spell books, I'd be off turning dragons into toads!"  
  
"Say," the blue one pondered, "why don't we try being wizard's for a day, it'll be fun!"  
  
"Alright!" replied the other "I will be. Tasslehoff Majere! No wait, I think there are copyright laws on that one... um... I will be...Voldermort!...no, that name is taken too! I know, I'll be Volkmar the Turner of Many Things into Toads!"  
  
The kender smiled at his new title, he was hoping the name would strike fear into his enemies, although he hadn't exactly thought of who his enemies were yet. His blue clad twin thought for a second.  
  
"I will be called Galrath, the Magnificent Wizard of Hocus-Pocus!" He concluded decidedly." Now all we need is staves"  
  
The kenders started blundering off into the woods in search of some sort staff.  
  
"Here we go!" cried Galrath, the Magnificent Wizard of Hocus-Pocus. "Say, this staff looks real! It's even got a crystal at the top, with a dragon- claw holding it! Wait a minute! This is a real staff! Like the one I saw Raistlin holding last night! Now I'm a real wizard!"  
  
He had found a clearing in the woods, and by the remains of a campfire, he had found a wooden staff. But no matter how hard he tried however, Volkmar, the Turner of Many Things into Toads could not find another staff in the clearing. However, he did stumble upon a huge spell book, entitled The Spell Book of Fistandantilus.  
  
"Wow! Didn't Raistlin have one of these?" inquired Volkmar, the Turner of Many Things into Toads. The kender opened the book, a started reading off one of the spells,  
  
"Shikar numeroth nediablia flamos!"  
  
Nothing happened. The kender thought for second, wondering why his spell wasn't working. He shrugged it off.  
  
"Hey, you try!" he beckoned to his twin, who's real name was Basslefoff Furboot  
  
"Let's see if I can remember how to do this.I heard Raistlin use this spell once. Shirak!" the kender cried.  
  
To his surprise, instead of staff emanating a magical light, a huge fireball hurtled from the kender's fingertips, swathing a smouldering hole in the foliage just off the road.  
  
"Whoa!" his kender twin, really named Hassletoff Furboot was impressed. "Just like Raistlin!"  
  
Excitedly the kender went off in search of someone they could show off their new-found powers to.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
"You're sure haven't seen anyone with a staff or a spell book" inquired Raistlin of the bridge keeper.  
  
"Quite sure" he replied "but I'll keep an eye out, a pesky kender probably nabbed it when you weren't looking."  
  
Raistlin was fuming at the loss of his spell book. Just last night a ridiculously dressed kender had "found" his spell book lying around and innocently tucked it into one of his pouches. Raistlin had caught the little monster before he made off with it, and fearing the loss of his other precious arcane artefacts, he and Caramon left Solace and spent a night in the woods off the trail to Qualinost. It was about one half hour after they had set out for Qualinost that Raistlin realized his staff and spell book were missing. He only assumed that someone had stolen them before he left the Inn last night.  
  
"Something wrong Raist?" Caramon, Raistlin's bulky twin inquired.  
  
"I just better find that staff and book before they fall into the wrong hands." Raistlin replied.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
If anyone had asked Hassletoff or Basslefoff, they would have been reluctant to admit that there hands were not the wrong hands. In fact, they believed that their hands were quite boring, because there was nothing wrong with them, but because the alternative was having no hands at all, they seemed content with four fingers and thumb. At this moment in time, Hassletoff and Basslefoff (who much preferred their titles of Volkmar, the Turner of Many Things into Toads, and Galrath, the Magnificent Wizard of Hocus-Pocus) were approaching the bridge leaving Solace.  
  
"Hey, what's that you've got there?" The bridge keeper approached them warily, eyeing their staff and spell book, which they sported happily, despite the fact that the book weighed about as much as both of them combined.  
  
"Don't question me!" Galrath, the Magnificent Wizard of Hocus-Pocus shouted in his most angry wizard-like voice he could manage.  
  
It was all the bridge keeper could do to stop from laughing. "And why the Abyss not?" he exclaimed.  
  
"I am a mighty wizard, I am known as Galrath, the Magnificent Wizard of Hocus-Pocus, my mere name makes the staunchest of men weak in the knees!" he boasted, not quite knowing what it meant to be staunch, but he heard someone say it about Huma once, so he assumed it meant something like "dragon-slaying" or "good with the ladies".  
  
This title did indeed make the bridge keeper weak in the knees, but more because he was doubling over in laughter, he decided to have some fun with the kender.  
  
"I see, and what might two brave elven wizards like yourselves be doing on such a dangerous road?"  
  
The kender were delighted that someone would confuse them for elves, who were in fact quite powerful wizards, and did not realize that the bridge keeper was playing on there fancies. However, the kender, handed this golden opportunity to play with this game of theirs a bit, had already begun to make up a story.  
  
"A mighty dragon has besieged the Qualinesti, they have called upon us, the staunchest (there was that word again) wizards, to free them." Hassletoff began proudly, raising his staff in what he hoped to be a heroic pose.  
  
At this point the bridge keeper recognized the staff, and remembered Raistlin's request. "Hey, that's Raistlin's!" he exclaimed.  
  
The kender were now quite bewildered as what to say next, like all misunderstanding humans, this man would probably think they stole it. Before the kender had a chance to respond, the bridge keeper went on.  
  
"Let me guess, you found it lying around and were going to keep it for him, eh? You kender are nothing but a bunch of lying little thieves!"  
  
The kender, quite taken aback at being called lying thieves, had completely overlooked the fact that bridge keeper didn't think they were elves anymore. Actually, kender are quite opposed to lying and stealing, kender simply had a way of making stories more interesting, and having objects fall randomly into their pouches. He was however surprised that bridge keeper was smart enough to realize that Raistlin had indeed dropped his staff. The kender however were not ready to abandon their well earned titles as wizards.  
  
"Watch your tongue with me, or I might turn you into a toad!" Basslefoff retorted.  
  
With that, he turned around and attempted to use the fireball spell, in hopes of scaring off the bridge keeper  
  
"Shirak!" he yelled.  
  
Instead shooting a burning ball of flame this time, a blast of magical energy sent him careening into the river.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Raistlin's head snapped up as he heard a blast of magical discharge. He saw a brilliant flash of colour coming from the bridge behind him. He set off at the best run he could manage, Caramon picked him up and ran with him, understanding Raistlin's worry, and need for haste. Quickly they arrived at the bridge, surprised to see an ash-covered kender floundering in the water, even more surprising was the fact that this kender had the Staff of Magius in his hands.  
  
"You little." Raistlin darted forward with a speed Caramon had never seen his brother use before.  
  
Even without his staff, Raistlin was a potent magic-user. "buoyan leviaro" with a gesture from Raistlin, the kender suddenly started floating out of the river into the air with the happiest expression on his face. Basslefoff had never flown before, that is to say had never been suspended in the air. He had been sent flying by explosions of various natures, jumped off of a variety objects and even rode a griffin once, but had never actually been completely suspended in the air before. His fascination with the experience ended when he found himself floating towards a magic user who had the look on his face as though he would like rip the kender's head off and use empty space to hold his spell components.  
  
"Oh, hullo Raistlin, my name is Galrath the-" the kender's sentence was cut off by the mage's baleful stare. "well I suppose you'll be wanting this, you see you dropped and I thought I'd keep it for you until I saw you again and." the cold stare silenced him again.  
  
Raistlin grabbed the staff from the floating kender, and Basslefoff fell suddenly to the ground.  
  
"Hey, could you do that for me?" Inquired Hassletoff, he was slightly bolder since he was on the other side of the river, "I've always wanted to fly!"  
  
Raistlin scowled, and repeated the spell to the kender's delight, however this time it was the spell book that was floating as opposed to the kinder, lifting from Hassletoff's fingers. Hassletoff looked forlorn. Without another word Raistlin snatched the spell book from midair, turned, and walked away, Caramon following him. Just as Raistlin went around the curve in the road and out of site, Basslefoff spotted something glinting brightly at his feet. It was one of Raistlin's magical rings.  
  
"Raistlin, you dropped-" Basslefoff almost called out after Raistlin, but thought better of it. Raistlin would just accuse him of stealing anyway.  
  
He stooped to pick up the ring, admiring it's pretty colours. He crossed the bridge to his twin and decided to head back to Solace, wondering what powers the ring had, and discussing the explosive temper that Raistlin had.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Just down the road Raistlin was searching through his pouches, he seemed to have lost a ring. Caramon was hoping he could make it back to the Inn of the Last Home in time for Otik's spiced potatoes. Suddenly Raistlin stopped his search and gave a sadistic laugh.  
  
"What is it Raist?" Caramon inquired.  
  
"One of those little kender stole one of my rings!" he replied calmly.  
  
"What's so funny about that Raist?" Caramon asked, confused.  
  
"Oh nothing, it just turns the wearer into a toad!" he laughed, as they set off into the sunset for Solace 


End file.
